Little Moments

Austin started smiling at me for the first time back on Sunday, the day he turned 3 weeks old. It took me by surprise because I wasn't expecting smiles for at least another week, and he's smiled at me every day since then. I love seeing his face light up and his eyes crinkle at the corners.

The first thing Nicole does in the morning after I've changed her diaper is rush into my room to peek over the side of the pack and play to shriek "Hi, baby!!!!" right in Austin's face. She gets so excited about him sometimes, and it's adorable.

Austin slept for a 4 hour stretch this week (the first time he's slept that long since when we were still in the hospital, I believe) and I felt so energized the next day as a result. It reminded me that there's a light at the end of the tunnel with these nighttime wakings.

We got our first snowfall of the season last night/this morning. Suddenly I want ALL the Christmas things!!!!!!

I didn't get any good pictures of Nicole in her costume on Halloween, so I may or may not have had her put her wings and tutu on and hold her candy bucket so we could pretend it was Halloween and I could snap some shots haha. She likes to put them on and wear them around the house. And so the dress-up begins... Also, there were some people who thought she was a butterfly and some who thought she was a fairy, so we're just going to call her a Butterfly Fairy. It would help if she would let me put things on her head, like a tiara or flower wreath for a fairy or antennae for a butterfly... 

Motherhood feels easier this time around, for multiple reasons. I wish I could go back in time and give new-mom-me some pointers on how to make those first weeks with Nicole more manageable.

There are tough moments, but having 2 kids isn't as crazy and hard as I thought it would be. It's awesome how Austin fits right into our lives and how it feels like he's always been here.

I feel like my heart has grown, like the Grinch's on Christmas morning. I live for those moments when my heart feels like it will burst from all the love. Seeing my two babies side by side and thinking of what good things the future might hold for our little family definitely makes me teary. Amidst the sleepless nights, hormonal outbursts, and constant lingering smell of sour milk (hooray, spit-up) I find that there is so much in my life to be thankful for. So much.

Transition TIme

Warning: rambling post ahead. Just needed to write tonight :)

I was going to wait to post because I was going to be a good blogger and take pretty pictures to go with it, but I'm feeling like a rebel so you guys get a post with old pictures from a year ago. Gasp! Hahahaha.

Besides, I love looking back at pictures to see how much Nicole has changed. Time, why do you have to be such a cruel, fast-moving thing?!?! At least I'll have another squishy newborn to mug on soon.

I love transitions, mostly. We're in the middle of one of my favorite transitions right now. I embraced and celebrated this new season whole-heartedly yesterday, complete with a chocolate pumpkin spice frappe from The Cocoa Bean, taking a walk out in the misty air in the morning with Nicole, and making our favorite hearty tomato soup to eat for dinner while we sat by open kitchen windows and listened to the rain. I already brought out fall decorations earlier in the month... but now I can "legally" put up Halloween décor, right?! Good, because I started today. #noshame

I love the autumn transition.

If we're buddies on snapchat (ashleykelly23 - let's be friends!) you probably saw me geeking out about all the fall colors up in Provo Canyon when Nicole and I took a drive up Squaw Peak road back on Tuesday. The dorkiness in my voice should give you an idea of my love for the season.

It's a season of other transitions for our family, too. We'll be transitioning to having a second child in just 4 short weeks, give or take a few days. My nesting instincts are really starting to gear up as I contemplate how I can make the transition easier for myself. I keep getting the urge to clean the whole house top to bottom and organize everything really well so I don't have to worry so much about cleaning and whatnot for those first few sleep-deprived weeks. I remember how little I accomplished when Nicole was a newborn. In some ways, I feel like the transition to 2 kids will be easier than the transition to having my first kid; I know a bit more of what to expect this time. I still want to make the transition easier in any way I can, though.

I haven't acted on those cleaning instincts yet because we're still finishing up our upstairs renovations, and I cannot focus well on everyday cleaning when there's a big project that needs to be finished. It nags me too much, not to mention I feel so scattered by the disorganized nature of a renovation zone, and by all the displaced furniture. The only thing left to do up there is paint one more coat in Nicole's room, so we should be done by tomorrow, we'll let the room air out all day Sunday, and then Nicole can move back in on Monday. Yay, we'll meet my goal of having renovations done before October!

Speaking of Nicole, she's going through a transition of her own right now. Even though the new baby probably won't be sleeping in the crib much for the first month or so, we decided it would be nice to transfer Nicole to her own bed before the baby gets here so she doesn't feel like the baby is kicking her out of her crib. We have a bed frame out in the garage ready to assemble once her room is painted. Meanwhile, her new twin mattress is on the ground of the spare room next to the crib... and she successfully slept on it all night last night! I've been telling her about her "big girl bed" daily for the past week, and when it arrived yesterday she was really excited about it, so we figured we'd jump right in to this transition even though the frame isn't assembled yet.

It went pretty smoothly: Doug put her to bed, and she was all of a sudden not so sure about this whole "big girl bed" thing, so she began crying to herself. It was so sad, this little not-even-2-year-old lying on this huge twin mattress and crying... so I came in and lay down next to her and assured her that it was okay, that it was scary to all of a sudden be in a new bed but that she was a brave girl, that the crib was right there if she needed it. She draped her little arm over my pregnant belly as we lay there, and I rubbed her back for a few minutes... then I kissed her, told her I'd be in to check on her in a little while if she still felt uneasy, and left. I didn't hear another peep out of her!

Then, of course, I went in to check on her right before I went to bed to discover that she had rolled off the mattress and was sleeping under the crib... I put her back on the mattress, but I'm pretty sure she rolled off again at some point during the night (she may have spent more time on the ground than on the mattress last night, oops), so I picked up a bed rail at Walmart today. I don't need this toddler falling out of bed all night. In any case, she woke up happy and proud of herself at her usual time of 7:00 this morning! Success! I lay in bed listening to her chatter to herself for about 15 minutes before she finally started politely knocking on her door and asking to come out.

In any case, she's sleeping on her mattress again tonight, and I just checked on her and she hasn't rolled off yet! ;)

So many transitions.

Nicole will have to transition to not being the sole object of mom's attention. Then she'll have to transition to using a potty chair. And then, and then, and then... wow, our lives are just long series of transitions. But I love it. As stressful as they can be, transitions push us to grow, adapt, discover... and they keep life from getting too stale and repetitive. I'm so proud of Nicole, and I hope I can handle the transition to being a mom of 2 with as much grace as she handled her bed transition!

She loves to see the temple (and so do I)

It's been a rainy sort of week here in Provo. Despite the rain, Nicole and I have taken some very needed adventures outside of our apartment in the past few days, and one of those adventures was a little picnic on the grounds of the Provo temple. We managed to finish up right before the rain started. If there's one thing that can ruin a picnic, it's rain! Still... I love rainy weather here in Utah, especially in the spring and summer. Everything is so green, and the mountains look beautiful.

This city has grown on me. I never wanted to raise my family in the "Utah bubble" but the longer I live here, the more I like it. And let's be honest - beautiful views like this are a great bonus that we don't have in Fresno. The mountains are right in my backyard!

This building in particular is so beautiful. I haven't been able to go in a temple since I was pregnant, but the next best thing is sitting close to one and telling my little baby girl about these wonderful, special buildings. The temples that my church has built over the years are all so important to me. I want them to be important to her too. (And really, they are all so beautiful!)

Nicole liked the temple.
She likes a lot of things, actually.
Such as "talking" to me.
She loves to tell me aaaaaall about it.

This motherhood gig is hard. I love being a mom, and I love Nicole, but boy is it hard sometimes. I'm trying my best to go out and DO things more often - for my own sanity, and because Nicole enjoys being pushed around places in her stroller - but even with the daytrips, it's been one of those rough months. That's a whole different blog post, though.

Being in the temple is something I've really been needing recently. I've been longing for the peace and calm that you rarely find anywhere else except in a House of the Lord. Fortunately, just sitting by the temple helped me feel better. It can hold me over until I can find the chance to go in.

Meanwhile, I can just keep hoping and praying that this little girl of mine will stay healthy and happy and keep making me laugh and smile. That gummy grin of hers melts my heart every time. (And yes, she's practicing her Zoolander face in that second-to-last picture ;)

Come to me!

Spring! I swear, it's just right there! It's so close! I feel like I mention it in every post, but I just want spring!

Alright. Now that I've written 4 sentences with exclamation marks in a row, I'm good. I'm all good.

Normally, March and I are pretty good friends. It's such a long month because there are no holidays or anything, and BYU does not do spring break... so I don't even have that to look forward to. However, there's a light at the end of the March tunnel. In two weeks I'll be wrapping up my current theatre project, and I have promised myself to take a break from theatre while I finish my last month of school and get through graduation. There, now it's public and I have to stick to it! Ha! I'm such a yes-women, I don't know how to say no to projects.

Anyways, April will be a great month. I'm calling it now. Meanwhile, I'm working through my stress.

Meanwhile, yay for winning European chocolate in my class because I came up with a stinkin' good thesis statement in our thesis statement bracket contest. Yay for having fun at my very last DanceSport competitions. Yay for pizza and sparkling cider. Yay for sunshine and wind storms. Yay for cute black and white pictures (Collette, you're too cute!)

Yay for...... life. Yeah. Yay for life.

When mountains turn pink

So... who can tell me where January has gone? We're almost done with it already!!! I was thinking today about how the older I get, the quicker time passes. One year does not seem as long now as it did when I was 10. At the same time, though, I feel like winter will last forever. The freezing temperatures, dry air, and pollution piling up from lack of snow or rainfall is getting old quickly. Earth... give me spring! In the meantime though, I can watch the mountains turn pink when the sun sets. That never gets old.

I suppose it's thanks to the pollution that we have colorful sunsets.
Always look for the silver lining.