I May or May Not

Sometimes, life gets rough. For me... for you... for all of us. I have rough days/weeks, just like everybody else. And this may or may not have been one of those weeks. And it's not over yet.

I may or may not have gone for 42 hours straight with no sleep on Tuesday/Wednesday.

I may or may not be sick right now.

I may or may not have sat on my bum and helped with nothing at rehearsal tonight because I'm sick and tired.

I may or may not be changing my major.

I may or may not be tired of taking 11 classes at once.

I may or may not have lost my voice. And I'm in charge of music at Seussical callbacks tomorrow.

I may or may not have gotten angry at Provo for snowing earlier this week.

I may or may not have a super busy weekend ahead of me.

But ya know what? I'm still SO blessed. So very, very blessed. There could be far worse things that I have to deal with in my life, and I am fortunate to be where I'm at and who I am. Besides... I have so much to look forward to! Only two days of classes left. Just one oral report and one written final left to take. I can sleep in on Wednesday for the first time in forever. Doug and I are going to Tucanos that same day. My father-in-law is coming to visit us in just a couple weeks. Seussical is going to be so fun to work on.

I saw this list on facebook. And I basically agree with every single thing on it:

I should always strive to think positively, count my blessings, and find things to look forward to. Doing that can brighten the days where I want to collapse and do nothing. I know I will be okay! And that is such a great thing to know.

Plus... I have such a great husband. Picking me up from campus even though it only takes 15 minutes to walk, giving up his time just so he can be at home with me while I'm sitting and stressing over homework or projects, smiling the biggest smiles I've ever seen when he finally sees me again after a long school day, making me food and doing dishes, telling me I'm beautiful when I do not feel pretty at all... yep. He's a keeper. I'm so glad I'm with him forever.

Cameras Hate My Face

I've realized something recently...

Cameras hate me.
They do everything they can to capture my ugliest moments.

You don't believe me?

Let me show you some beautiful, un-edited proof.
Don't be a hater:

"Stank Face"

I can't tell who's scarier... me, or the zombie!

That's my attempt at "Blue Steel". So hot right now...

Looking super gross at Disneyland.

"Stank Face #2"

Sometimes, I just look funky.

Back in the high school days. What was up with my hair??!?! And my foundation-less face?!?

Another pic from the high school days... my hair is always doing weird things.

Me trying to be hipster, back in my pre-married-life days.

I obviously failed.

The shadow on my upper lip makes me look like I have a mustache.

Even at my own wedding, the camera captured great moments.

At least the hubs is pulling weird faces with me in this one.

Together through all the bad camera moments.

That's true love, right there.

There are even more ugly gems where these came from. Believe me.

And these are just the ones I'm willing to show you.

Well... okay... these are not really that bad. I mean, that Blue Steel picture is actually pretty legit, isn't it?!

(Don't worry, I don't think I'm ugly :p)

Anyways... we should have an ugly photo link party!

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Yeah. I didn't think so.

Just a few Pinteresting notions...

First of all... why is teal & brown such a great combo?

                                                                                 Source: mathstations011.blogspot.com via Beth on Pinterest

Second of all, I have to try these pumpkin ginger cupcakes sometime!

                                                                              Source: mybakingaddiction.com via Ashley on Pinterest

Third of all, this centerpiece is gorgeous.

                                                                        Source: anita-faraboverubies.blogspot.com via Ashley on Pinterest

Why am I so easily distracted from homework?!

I really should have the Hubs change the passwords for my facebook, pinterest, and blogger accounts for a week.

Then, I might actually get things done!

Lack of motivation

I've been sitting and staring at this computer screen for quite a while now. I want to write a post before going to work in half an hour... and yet, I do not know what to write.
You could call it a writers block, of sorts.
Okay. Here it goes.
Pardon my ranting.
My brain feels dead. School is eating away at me. There are so many things that I want to do during this fall season, and yet I do not feel like rewarding myself with those activities when I can't even focus on what matters. Putting effort into my schooling. Keeping our apartment clean. Writing in my journal, reading scriptures, grocery shopping and laundry... I don't feel motivated to do any of it.

My mind doesn't want to try.
Why not?

I need to figure out a method to get myself motivated again. That way, I'll feel like I deserve to take walks and play in leaves. To watch movies. To take a nap. To go look for the infamous $5,000 Provo Treasure Hunt prize that is hidden somewhere in the vicinity of the city (the clues for which are killing my brain even further).

Right now, I feel like I don't deserve to get a break because I don't put effort into what matters. And so, I beat myself up about it. And I can't help feeling that treating myself this way is not healthy. Letting myself relax should help my stress and motivation levels, right? And yet I know that I get carried away with relaxing. And so, the stress goes on.
It's a cycle that I can't seem to break. And it's only going to make things worse.

*Sorry for the "downer" post, guys! I just (obviously) needed to unload some things.